as written on; January 29, 2007

celebrated and stuff. so it wasnt what i imgined it will be. i dont know. but i felt not everyone enjoyed. then why the f even force yourself to go? hmmm. i dont know. to maybe make me feel better? i guess. but i felt worst. alright. maybe i am just insanely insane. hahaha.

sometimes i really wonder.. it keeps me ocuppied.. thanks girl. i wondered many stuff. that maybe i felt weird sharing with people. and the only thing i can do is to keep it me me. wells. yeah. u say and do differently. i dont know.

CHARLENE MAGDALENE SELINA RINA CLAUDIA YVELYN PHYLLICIA.

thank u for wasting ur precious time with me this afternoon. i felt kinda touched even though.. wells. yeah.. thanks so much.

all of u kinda mean something to me. even though maybe we are not close but.. i dont know. okay. i am just superly dumb. it seems i dont know. my lifes screwed. like seriously. i know nuts. i dont even know myself. congrats to me.

i am writing and there are like soo many contrasts. so how do i really feel? i dont know.

so i am preparing a gift for my sister.

actually. i am wondering. why bother celebrating a birthday? your birth day.. seems weird. shouldnt u be staying at home with your mommy since she had u in her for 9 damn freaking long months. birth day. it should be celebrated with your mommy right? your mommy should celebrate it right? not the baby that was in the mommy right? the baby didnt do anything. the mommy did.. so why celebrate for the baby when with or without the baby its gonna be the same.

i am gonna do something different this year. instead of this kinda stupid stuff i do every year with my family. i am gonna do it different.

i love my mommy.